im writing you a letter...its been a while now n nada. im writing u this because im pissed. im writing you this because i watch way2much tv and i dont know what else2do. i promised you id never hurt u and i promised you i wouldnt let u leave me without a fight. so here i am... you told me its hard for you, you tried2 explain how you felt and i guess i just didnt fully understand because im still here thinking about u and wondering if your ok. i worry about you all the time and now im writing you because i still love you. life is short, life is hard. we all have2make decisions daily that change the entire course of out future. i dont know what its like for yo but i know im pissed evry day i tell myself not to call u. im annoyed everytime somthing happens in my life and i dont text you. but i have to b a man for fuck sake. if i keep putting all of myself into a relationship then its no suprise i usually end up hurt. dont get me wrong im not questioning your feelings for me or making excuses for you but rather explaining to myself. you have your life to lead and all the caring in the world aint gona make a diffrence if im over here and your over there.
i havnt forgoten the first nite we flirted on the fone and the shivers i got when you told me u loved me but iv come to terms with the fact that i have done everything in my power to keep u loving me. im no genious, i dont have parents that give me evrything i want but i know i have a good heart and i gave it all to you the 1st day i woke up next to u. im a sissy when it comes to alot of things but i dont wana bitch out now. i sit in vgc writing this as mosquitos buzz around me and iv told myself i wount give in. im waiting for you. im waiting for you to ask if im ok, im waiting for u to tell me how school has been going, im waiting for you to ask me y i havent called or mailed...im evn waiting for an lol response to my black nylon story.
i told you im here for u...and now understand thats not enough. so im not taking my heart back from you but im just keeping alil of it back in a box. i hurt evrytime i try but im not gona stop trying. i love you and ive hurt several people because of that but that doesnt matter right now.
im not sending you this so if you actually are reading this 1of 2things have happend.
i love you no matter what peanut and my feelings havent lessend. im just writing this because i miss talking2u...
i just miss you but haven't been enough 4both of us.
jly.x
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