I'm going on about it again.... Its like its all that's on my mind at the moment and besides why wouldn't it? I have spent half my life looking for it (well sometimes harder than others) and I did even find it on some occasions. Oh, in case you were wondering I'm talking about the ever elusive prey we call Love.
But here's what I noticed only recently, Love is all around us. I'm serious, so no need for the funny looks, it really is.
Ok so its not that easy to see plainly here in Lasgidi, but it's there. Behind the fast paced, hustle or die mentality, you'll find it, and I know because I've seen it (yeah, look at me talking like I have a PHD in love-onomics).
Walking through a mall the other day I saw it on four different occasions and well I was actually taken aback (caught myself "aww-ing" actually, but don't tell anyone).
There was and elderly couple, they must have been like 70 something and as I walked slowly behind them, typing away in response to why my friends were late and I noticed them talking to each other. They were arguing about if they had locked the car. It was so real and the way they talked you knew there was nothing hidden between them. Then when they got to the front of a jewellery store they just stopped and turned to look inside. As I walked passed them the woman drew closer to the man and put her arm through his and leaned into him, he just stood there (a little bent over with age of course) all manly and proud with his woman by his side. It was nothing spectacular but if your looking for it, you could have seen the love they shared shine brightly, right there in the palms shopping mall.
With my over active imagination I obviously gave them a storyline, you know, the woman was reminded of her own wedding ring which they had lost over the years and they stood the remanicing on the old days and the passion of days gone by, content and happy to have had such a person to share it all with... But that's just in my head.
I could go on and talk about how I later saw some guy step up to a girl in the book shop and use author knowledge to chat her up, I could focus on how he meandered around her all smiles and good manners, making her laugh as he tried to help her pick a book. You could see the look in her eye as she sized him up and the twinkle in his as she gave him her number at the counter, and this could be the begining of something special as the chemistry I witnessed was electric.
There were other signs that we are constantly surrounded by love or the opportunity to love, but conditioning, conformity and lest I forget environment are what keep it from us.
See, the reason why movies make love look complicated yet easily obtainable is because they have to focus on what we tend to ignore. All those little intricacies like a look in her eyes or even down to basics of their posture as the talk to you.
I really could babble on and on but what it boils down to is that we just have to open our eyes and hearts. Then it will all be plain to see, and the okada stress, gold digger mentality, ahso-free hunters, player/hustles or even nepa frustration will just be another regular annoyance, like flies and not a barrier from happiness.
Seriously, forget my blatant optimism here and just try it, then let me know what you see.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
That's so Tweet...
To tweet or not to tweet? That is the modern day question. Here in Naija the craze of telling the world what you're up to every five minutes has become a way of life. Haven't you ever wondered what all the fuss was about? (if you're not already a confirmed tweet monger that is)
But before I go any further I'll have to break it down for you all.
Back in the day when we were all just getting internet crazy, the giants of cyber space "Yahoo" came up with the concept of instant chat over the net with anyone around the world. I distinctly remember sneaking to the IT room in school and hopping from one chat room to another, talking and flirting with strangers from Holland, the US and even Japan. Messengers grew and became more popular and in my opinion this is were the status updates came from. If you didn't want to talk, you would simply select the "busy" icon, then later you could write stuff like "Don't buzz me...I'm at work". So when online communities like "Hi5", Bebo and facebook emerged we where all already down with it.
Today pretty much every Tom, Dick and Chinedu have a facebook account (and to prove it, just search Chinedu on Fb friend search and see how many hits you get, not to mention the fact that my Dads even on there) they are all constantly updating their status's with witty comments, famous quotes and random tid-bits from their everyday lives (even if we don't care, they are there non the less). So when Twitter popped into our technological line of sight, everyone decided to try it out. And like messengers and Facebook, we all got hooked. Where else would you be able to get constant updates on what D'banj is up to or where Rhianna is at the moment? People (regular and those of the celeb variety a-like) all jumped happily on the band wagon.
With twitter all you have to do is write a short note answering the never fading question "what's happening?". The more you tweet the more you learn, as twitter has its very own language, there's Trending, following, re-tweeting, DM's, etc and day by day you become a happy member of the twitter family, sending tweet pics and re-tweeting funny updates.
It's funny though because all the down time we all used to have seem to be getting sucked up, those days when you would sit outside and read a book or catch up on your favourite episode of friends, we're spending more time socialising with thin air. Even at real life social functions peoples minds are inexplicably linked to the cyber world. At a party the other day, we were all chatting away and having fun when I asked some one for something then quoted the line "caring is sharing" but one of my mates heard me wrong and laughed saying "Yeah, sharing is scaring. I'm so putting that as my FB stat." Then a girl in the group said "Don't worry, I've already tweeted it." It was funny to see how we humans adapt so easily, adding and removing things according to peer pressure or even just conformity. But I'm really not one to judge, as I type away on my Blackberry curve, just having tweeted "Time to get writing, me thinks".
The world is ever changing and as sharp Nigerians we are changing and adapting with it. Of course you've heard of Twitter right? (If not? Where have you been? You know we have phones that aren't conected to the walls too right?) Ok, so Twitter is a nice and easy way to keep tabs on your friends, celeb loves, fans and you can even get bite sized news updates, considering if you search "acid rain" you just may get a lot of hits in the Nigeria reigion. So in answer to my earlier question? Yes, it is to tweet.
So hurry up, and when you get there be sure to follow me...
But before I go any further I'll have to break it down for you all.
Back in the day when we were all just getting internet crazy, the giants of cyber space "Yahoo" came up with the concept of instant chat over the net with anyone around the world. I distinctly remember sneaking to the IT room in school and hopping from one chat room to another, talking and flirting with strangers from Holland, the US and even Japan. Messengers grew and became more popular and in my opinion this is were the status updates came from. If you didn't want to talk, you would simply select the "busy" icon, then later you could write stuff like "Don't buzz me...I'm at work". So when online communities like "Hi5", Bebo and facebook emerged we where all already down with it.
Today pretty much every Tom, Dick and Chinedu have a facebook account (and to prove it, just search Chinedu on Fb friend search and see how many hits you get, not to mention the fact that my Dads even on there) they are all constantly updating their status's with witty comments, famous quotes and random tid-bits from their everyday lives (even if we don't care, they are there non the less). So when Twitter popped into our technological line of sight, everyone decided to try it out. And like messengers and Facebook, we all got hooked. Where else would you be able to get constant updates on what D'banj is up to or where Rhianna is at the moment? People (regular and those of the celeb variety a-like) all jumped happily on the band wagon.
With twitter all you have to do is write a short note answering the never fading question "what's happening?". The more you tweet the more you learn, as twitter has its very own language, there's Trending, following, re-tweeting, DM's, etc and day by day you become a happy member of the twitter family, sending tweet pics and re-tweeting funny updates.
It's funny though because all the down time we all used to have seem to be getting sucked up, those days when you would sit outside and read a book or catch up on your favourite episode of friends, we're spending more time socialising with thin air. Even at real life social functions peoples minds are inexplicably linked to the cyber world. At a party the other day, we were all chatting away and having fun when I asked some one for something then quoted the line "caring is sharing" but one of my mates heard me wrong and laughed saying "Yeah, sharing is scaring. I'm so putting that as my FB stat." Then a girl in the group said "Don't worry, I've already tweeted it." It was funny to see how we humans adapt so easily, adding and removing things according to peer pressure or even just conformity. But I'm really not one to judge, as I type away on my Blackberry curve, just having tweeted "Time to get writing, me thinks".
The world is ever changing and as sharp Nigerians we are changing and adapting with it. Of course you've heard of Twitter right? (If not? Where have you been? You know we have phones that aren't conected to the walls too right?) Ok, so Twitter is a nice and easy way to keep tabs on your friends, celeb loves, fans and you can even get bite sized news updates, considering if you search "acid rain" you just may get a lot of hits in the Nigeria reigion. So in answer to my earlier question? Yes, it is to tweet.
So hurry up, and when you get there be sure to follow me...
Saturday, April 10, 2010
No, you hang up...
How do I start this? All these thoughts and emotions just swell up and well, I just have to put this one down...
Ok so I'm sitting up trying to design a layout plan for some secondary school year book and I get a phone call from a friend....let's just call her "shaniqua" (always wanted a shaniqua in my life...) And I love her voice. She's a great friend and solidly taken but when we talk I always seem to smile. After our random discussion I get back to work, all vim and vigour, then half way through deciding whether Gammond's a good font for the title blocks I realise we're all missing out on the good stuff.
Remember those days when phone calls were all we had? When you'd spend all night hiding in the guest room so your folks or nosey siblings wouldn't catch you talking to some love interest? When you could hear the smile in her voice or the true want as he says "I missed you today"... I know I remember...and I know I miss it. We would all forget about the consequences and the impending doom which was our folks finding the phone bill, just to say "no, you hang up" 20 times and still find our way back into a conversation.
These days we have marvellous technology, which I love but I miss the Golden years. The days when you'd spend hours talking to someone you've never met but feel such a strong connection just because they've seen "The empire strikes back" 5 times or how you'd call a girl up during the day and five of her friends would take turns talking to the infamous phone guy. Nowadays we text, and I'll avoid slander towards the bb, as that would be the highest form of hypocrisy on my part. But how far off from human contact is the blackberry message? Here's an example, guy likes girl, guy gets pin, guy sends msg: "hi, I got your pin from shaniqua. Its Jite, her friend from the other night. Just wanted to say hi." Then he waits 5hours and gets: "hiya". Its infuriating! Fair enough, bbm is not really the way to go if you want to meet the girl of your dreams but conversations used to be a lot more meaningful. With emotions in your voice and intentions made clear through intonation but I'm drifting from my point again.
Technology is great, video chatting with your babe who's in spain or sending a prose-ful love letter through gmail but asides from getting on a plane and turning up with roses at her hotel, nothing says how you feel better than your voice.
It erks me when I hang up and just by instinct check my credit, but that's how we roll these days. Many people still call a lot and smile without emoicons but things sure have changed. Or wait...maybe its just me...
The voice at the other end of the line is important. I'm not talking about the business transaction you've been hustling (course thats important as well) I'm talking about that voice that makes your mind work in full HD... The voice that makes you snuggle up in bed cause it just hits all your high notes. You know the voice I'm takling about. Let's not get all caught up and forget, cause I distinctly remember the day my Dad walked in on me at 3am under the dinning room table on the phone and smiled. He knew what was up... He'd been there himself.
You know what? I've made my point I think, so I'm gonna stop typing and pick up the phone....let my voice get back to familiar ground.
Ok so I'm sitting up trying to design a layout plan for some secondary school year book and I get a phone call from a friend....let's just call her "shaniqua" (always wanted a shaniqua in my life...) And I love her voice. She's a great friend and solidly taken but when we talk I always seem to smile. After our random discussion I get back to work, all vim and vigour, then half way through deciding whether Gammond's a good font for the title blocks I realise we're all missing out on the good stuff.
Remember those days when phone calls were all we had? When you'd spend all night hiding in the guest room so your folks or nosey siblings wouldn't catch you talking to some love interest? When you could hear the smile in her voice or the true want as he says "I missed you today"... I know I remember...and I know I miss it. We would all forget about the consequences and the impending doom which was our folks finding the phone bill, just to say "no, you hang up" 20 times and still find our way back into a conversation.
These days we have marvellous technology, which I love but I miss the Golden years. The days when you'd spend hours talking to someone you've never met but feel such a strong connection just because they've seen "The empire strikes back" 5 times or how you'd call a girl up during the day and five of her friends would take turns talking to the infamous phone guy. Nowadays we text, and I'll avoid slander towards the bb, as that would be the highest form of hypocrisy on my part. But how far off from human contact is the blackberry message? Here's an example, guy likes girl, guy gets pin, guy sends msg: "hi, I got your pin from shaniqua. Its Jite, her friend from the other night. Just wanted to say hi." Then he waits 5hours and gets: "hiya". Its infuriating! Fair enough, bbm is not really the way to go if you want to meet the girl of your dreams but conversations used to be a lot more meaningful. With emotions in your voice and intentions made clear through intonation but I'm drifting from my point again.
Technology is great, video chatting with your babe who's in spain or sending a prose-ful love letter through gmail but asides from getting on a plane and turning up with roses at her hotel, nothing says how you feel better than your voice.
It erks me when I hang up and just by instinct check my credit, but that's how we roll these days. Many people still call a lot and smile without emoicons but things sure have changed. Or wait...maybe its just me...
The voice at the other end of the line is important. I'm not talking about the business transaction you've been hustling (course thats important as well) I'm talking about that voice that makes your mind work in full HD... The voice that makes you snuggle up in bed cause it just hits all your high notes. You know the voice I'm takling about. Let's not get all caught up and forget, cause I distinctly remember the day my Dad walked in on me at 3am under the dinning room table on the phone and smiled. He knew what was up... He'd been there himself.
You know what? I've made my point I think, so I'm gonna stop typing and pick up the phone....let my voice get back to familiar ground.
Friday, April 9, 2010
I've got that funny feeling again..
Your heart pounds in your chest, your hands tremble lightly, your stomach feels like there's a party going on and you're the neighbour that wasn't invited. All these things happen at once and its all her fault, she, her, that girl across the room. Its a wonderful feeling in hindsight but right then and there? As your temperature rises and a million and one thoughts whiz through your mind, and all she did was smile. At that moment....its not really all peaches n cream...well more upchucking carrots n peas, even if you haven't had said vegies..but that's just for then.
You see the heart is more than just a big pumping machine. Us conscious and sentient beings have attached so many different emotions and psychological affiliation's with a lump of pulsating muscle. It occurred to me that during my random musings on life, love and all that other stuff, that 'love' is more than just a word (yes, I know...its obvious, but just hear me out) we grow up (if we're lucky) with parents that care about us enough to scold (or bust out the koboko in some cases) and punish us when we're young and we resented them for it, as we really didn't know any better. But when we look back, some of our folks were dead wrong, but hey, some were on point...can u imagine coming home to a house you built from the ground up and your son has just drawn his special and epic rendering of ben10 on your modern white leather couch? And he accentuated it all in dark green permanent ink. Are you telling me a "time out" would do the job...please. Our folks tried with what they had....but really, more on point, these "little" things were the 1st tastes of true love we ever got.
In contrast, (or more to the point) look at that old couple you see walking in the park or spending an hour in front of you in a cue counting their change together. That's real love, imagine spending all those years together, accepting that he'll never put the seat down and she'll always be 10minuites late getting dressed...forever...think deeply about it. That guy you broke up with cause he wasn't he never called you back within your alotted 10 minute time frame or that girl you left cause her voice was just one octave to high..what if you stayed? They did...they stayed with the good and the bad because that feeling was worth it. That blood rushing through the vains, unable to swallow well, sweaty palms feeling. They stuck with the "put the seat down" rants and the socks on the floor because they had that feeling, and realised it what it was early and "the" feeling stayed because they let it.
So I may not no a lot of things but I sure know how my heart feels when I'm around a girl that's worth it, worth the re-writing a text 3times, agonising over saying "toodles" as you cut the line, the incessant worrying if I should or shouldn't call...all of that. They may not be "the" one, but if just for that moment in time, they could be right for you. So before you stand up, arms akimbo, gaping mouth, staring at some girl that just said "I don't know what the fuss is all about this barney guy, he aint that funny" calm down and think. Is that feeling there? Forgetting this dreadful moment, does she make u feel like u wana smile and run far, far away at the same time? If so...forgive her not liking "how I met your mother", or even being a Chelsea fan because in the long run....its that feeling that matters...
Oh but if the feeling was never there...then as Jay-z says, "onto the next one"....
You see the heart is more than just a big pumping machine. Us conscious and sentient beings have attached so many different emotions and psychological affiliation's with a lump of pulsating muscle. It occurred to me that during my random musings on life, love and all that other stuff, that 'love' is more than just a word (yes, I know...its obvious, but just hear me out) we grow up (if we're lucky) with parents that care about us enough to scold (or bust out the koboko in some cases) and punish us when we're young and we resented them for it, as we really didn't know any better. But when we look back, some of our folks were dead wrong, but hey, some were on point...can u imagine coming home to a house you built from the ground up and your son has just drawn his special and epic rendering of ben10 on your modern white leather couch? And he accentuated it all in dark green permanent ink. Are you telling me a "time out" would do the job...please. Our folks tried with what they had....but really, more on point, these "little" things were the 1st tastes of true love we ever got.
In contrast, (or more to the point) look at that old couple you see walking in the park or spending an hour in front of you in a cue counting their change together. That's real love, imagine spending all those years together, accepting that he'll never put the seat down and she'll always be 10minuites late getting dressed...forever...think deeply about it. That guy you broke up with cause he wasn't he never called you back within your alotted 10 minute time frame or that girl you left cause her voice was just one octave to high..what if you stayed? They did...they stayed with the good and the bad because that feeling was worth it. That blood rushing through the vains, unable to swallow well, sweaty palms feeling. They stuck with the "put the seat down" rants and the socks on the floor because they had that feeling, and realised it what it was early and "the" feeling stayed because they let it.
So I may not no a lot of things but I sure know how my heart feels when I'm around a girl that's worth it, worth the re-writing a text 3times, agonising over saying "toodles" as you cut the line, the incessant worrying if I should or shouldn't call...all of that. They may not be "the" one, but if just for that moment in time, they could be right for you. So before you stand up, arms akimbo, gaping mouth, staring at some girl that just said "I don't know what the fuss is all about this barney guy, he aint that funny" calm down and think. Is that feeling there? Forgetting this dreadful moment, does she make u feel like u wana smile and run far, far away at the same time? If so...forgive her not liking "how I met your mother", or even being a Chelsea fan because in the long run....its that feeling that matters...
Oh but if the feeling was never there...then as Jay-z says, "onto the next one"....
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