Last time I talked a lot but didn't really get to what you where waiting to hear so lemme break it down further:
Then let's look at the other women in our lives. When a potential girlfriend meets you and starts the assessment process (we all know very much what that is); how good you look, how much money you make, the way you make her feel, etc. All these are just things she doesn't want to have to worry about if you guys actually start dating.
Here's an example to help you wrap your head around, when I first met Jane (alternative names are being used to protect the innocent) I didn't really meet her, someone told her I had a nice voice and she called. So there I was talking to this sexy sounding chica and my Man brain kicked in and told me not to mess this up. It just came to me, like a smack up side the head and I started making her laugh. See when you make a girl laugh she automatically puts her guard down when ever your involved. So I got rave reviews from her and random other phone calls from her friends. Obviously I stuck with Jane, as that voice would serenade a raging bull, but once again, I digress. My point is that she didn't have to worry about my "ulterior" motives. Most guys start with the flirting, or talking about the weather but I always say, when in doubt, make her laugh.
If you look at the success rate with men that "get the girl", isn't it the most put together people that win every time? The more money you have the less she has to worry that your going to be a liability in the future. The better looking you are the less she has to worry about potential off spring turning out like those cabage patch kids we used to have or more importantly how she's going to feel being seen in public with you or even just seeing your face. The more interesting and fun you are the less she has to worry about getting bored of you, and yes, this is a big one. Girls get bored quick (I didn't say anything about attention spans, so female readers please don't shot the messenger). Another thing about how you look is that if your a looker then they don't have to worry about what her friends are going to think of you. This one is a biggy, women are some what pack animals and what their friends an couleages think of you is very important. I remember getting a call from a female friend once, she asked me to meet her at a bar to meet her new man, I'm not a girl but when I got there she was with 5 other girls and we were waiting for Mr "at the moment"m. That was when I noticed the silent conversations between all the other girls. He walked in all tall and swaggerish and in the first two minutes half of the girls were sold on him. And that's all it took. Fair enough Mr "at the moment" was caught cheating and replaced two months later but that's not the point I'm aiming for right now.
So basically when you meet a woman you like or even just want to spend more time with, don't waste any time in deleting things she may have to worry about and before you know it your right where you want to be, either in bed with her, spending time with her, getting along with her or even, as with mothers not being pestered about if your eating well, three times a week. As they say, the proof is in the pudding (I dunno who actually says that though, maybe dessert aficionados?)
Obviously there are exceptions, like the really hansom but broke guys who still get the girls or the cash money boys who look like the ugly stick was invented on their family tree but change girlfriends like an item of clothing and lest we forget the silver tounged devils with words that wipe away all worries (if only for a short period of time). But non the less, there we have it, what women want. So since back when Adam asked Eve "are you sure we should be eating this?" Men have unconsciously been giving the women of their lives less to worry about in order to live in harmony with them.
Once you come to terms with this, you're well on your way to having better relationships, friendships and even courtships with women.
So what you worrying about, their only women.
Good luck and God speed,
Jite
Saturday, March 27, 2010
What women want...I think. Prt1
We've all heard this question being asked again and again, be it in movies, songs or even some random online rant by a want to be know it all, of which there are loads. But after spending some 20 something odd years trying to figure out that very question, I recently had a break through (even if it was brought about through lack of sleep and watching one too many rom-coms).
So here is my pristine, state of the art, eye opening conclusion; Men will never truly understand women.
Ok, maybe that's not as earth shattering and mind blowingly astounding, or even brand new information but it is the unabashed truth. If you were reading this and hoping for a center spread article giving you concrete, indisputable information which would get you that girl you've been pining over, then I do have to apologise, but your hopes may have been a tad high. Come on, what did you expect? We're in the year 2010, global warming is seeming more and more a reality (not to mention this mystical acid rain they keep telling us about), gadgets James Bond used are becoming everyday tools and 11 year olds are using ipads in schools, but yet still, us members of the male species still have no idea what the women in our lives really want.
But I digress, relax, there's hope. Everyday there are more scientific break throughs and just maybe one day some super clever test tube jockey will finally prove that women are from Venus.
Ok, on a more serious note though, here is what I have come to understand; women don't just want one thing. They want and need a plethora of things from us men but I'll boil them all, like a good french chef into a nice bite size portion.
Women don't want to worry about you.
That's pretty much the crux of it. The less a girl or woman has to worry about the better your relationship with said female will be. If you notice, with your Mother, growing up she calls and complains and advises you constantly but the older you get the fewer the calls become. That is, until you reach the point when your the one calling. (Well there are some exceptions for those whose mums NEVER stop worrying but they should be used to that by now). The reason for the reduction in calls and ever so enjoyable nagging sessions is because the older you get, hopefully the better you get at taking care of yourself. So your relationship starts to become more of a friendship and she doesn't have to worry so much anymore.
Well I will go on but I seem to be running out of space here so please tune in next time for more from me...part 2 coming right up.
So here is my pristine, state of the art, eye opening conclusion; Men will never truly understand women.
Ok, maybe that's not as earth shattering and mind blowingly astounding, or even brand new information but it is the unabashed truth. If you were reading this and hoping for a center spread article giving you concrete, indisputable information which would get you that girl you've been pining over, then I do have to apologise, but your hopes may have been a tad high. Come on, what did you expect? We're in the year 2010, global warming is seeming more and more a reality (not to mention this mystical acid rain they keep telling us about), gadgets James Bond used are becoming everyday tools and 11 year olds are using ipads in schools, but yet still, us members of the male species still have no idea what the women in our lives really want.
But I digress, relax, there's hope. Everyday there are more scientific break throughs and just maybe one day some super clever test tube jockey will finally prove that women are from Venus.
Ok, on a more serious note though, here is what I have come to understand; women don't just want one thing. They want and need a plethora of things from us men but I'll boil them all, like a good french chef into a nice bite size portion.
Women don't want to worry about you.
That's pretty much the crux of it. The less a girl or woman has to worry about the better your relationship with said female will be. If you notice, with your Mother, growing up she calls and complains and advises you constantly but the older you get the fewer the calls become. That is, until you reach the point when your the one calling. (Well there are some exceptions for those whose mums NEVER stop worrying but they should be used to that by now). The reason for the reduction in calls and ever so enjoyable nagging sessions is because the older you get, hopefully the better you get at taking care of yourself. So your relationship starts to become more of a friendship and she doesn't have to worry so much anymore.
Well I will go on but I seem to be running out of space here so please tune in next time for more from me...part 2 coming right up.
I'm Berry confused
Walking down the streets of lagos about 2years ago you would have seen a variable cornicopia of different phones. Nokias on hip pouches of trendy business men, pink samsungs being brandished with wreckless abandon by many young women and lest we forget the pda's which were used to wow us, sporting their microsoft compatable software and funky touch screen skills. I my self was a very proud owner of an I-mate "Jamin", looking for any opportunity to whip it out in public and tap away with my "mad" stylus skills...
But that was 2 years ago, the rate at which technology changes and improves is astonishing, if only we actually take stock of it, switching entire operating systems every year curtesy of Mr Microsoft or how it seems like a life time ago we used2 actually take "film" to the printers and get our pictures in our hands after a couple hours but like I said....that was years ago.
These day a new device has jumped up and bitten us in the "must have" section of our minds... The blackberry has come and it wants to take over the world. There was a time when only the biggest corporations had computers, then there was a time that only the flashest business men had cellular phones and (don't worry I wount go back to when only the strongest had spears and stayed in the "good" caves) now it seems that one day people were hearing about blackberry's on tv then the next thing you no, every1 and their brother had one. Sending instant messages every five seconds, taking pictures like cameras were a new invention and taking facebook addiction to a whole new level, these are jus some of the perks of the being a part of the "blackberry generation" but wow, does the list go on.
As Nigerians we have never been one to slack when it comes to trends, we where there doing the running man at Hammer time and we'll surely be there to surf the information highway while driving or doing our nails like the rest of the world. Blackberry's were made to aid the busy, fast paced world of the businessman or woman, with spread sheets, email, word documents and let's face it... All the goodies of a laptop or a communicator in the comfort of your shirt pocket. But ok... here's what I think happened, there must have been these hip world traveling business mums and as they never had anytime to see their kids, so they decided to give them both bb's. After school as they both sat tapping away, googling and taking pictures...their friends got jealous and presto...we have an in infulx of bejeweled bb's. Well that's just my philosophy anyway.
So walking down the streets these days your bound to find at least one person not really paying attention to what they are doing as they check their bb's for pings, emails, group requests, facebook notices, tweets, myspace notices and yes it goes on. Blackberry's are here to stay and other companies like the all encompasing apple are knicking their ideas which shows they got it right first time. It may have taken a wile but hey just ask a bb owner and I'm sure they'll tell you they are worth every penny..oh my bad, every kobo.
But that was 2 years ago, the rate at which technology changes and improves is astonishing, if only we actually take stock of it, switching entire operating systems every year curtesy of Mr Microsoft or how it seems like a life time ago we used2 actually take "film" to the printers and get our pictures in our hands after a couple hours but like I said....that was years ago.
These day a new device has jumped up and bitten us in the "must have" section of our minds... The blackberry has come and it wants to take over the world. There was a time when only the biggest corporations had computers, then there was a time that only the flashest business men had cellular phones and (don't worry I wount go back to when only the strongest had spears and stayed in the "good" caves) now it seems that one day people were hearing about blackberry's on tv then the next thing you no, every1 and their brother had one. Sending instant messages every five seconds, taking pictures like cameras were a new invention and taking facebook addiction to a whole new level, these are jus some of the perks of the being a part of the "blackberry generation" but wow, does the list go on.
As Nigerians we have never been one to slack when it comes to trends, we where there doing the running man at Hammer time and we'll surely be there to surf the information highway while driving or doing our nails like the rest of the world. Blackberry's were made to aid the busy, fast paced world of the businessman or woman, with spread sheets, email, word documents and let's face it... All the goodies of a laptop or a communicator in the comfort of your shirt pocket. But ok... here's what I think happened, there must have been these hip world traveling business mums and as they never had anytime to see their kids, so they decided to give them both bb's. After school as they both sat tapping away, googling and taking pictures...their friends got jealous and presto...we have an in infulx of bejeweled bb's. Well that's just my philosophy anyway.
So walking down the streets these days your bound to find at least one person not really paying attention to what they are doing as they check their bb's for pings, emails, group requests, facebook notices, tweets, myspace notices and yes it goes on. Blackberry's are here to stay and other companies like the all encompasing apple are knicking their ideas which shows they got it right first time. It may have taken a wile but hey just ask a bb owner and I'm sure they'll tell you they are worth every penny..oh my bad, every kobo.
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