Friends like these...

We all grew up with them, different people that have been there with us through out our ups and downs, or red light, green light games, Ten ten, skipping rope, who stole the meat form the cooking pot sessions, camping trips, when had our 1st taste of alcohol, Twister, truth or dare marathons (you know you planned with your friends before time, who would be kissing whom....I know I did *wink*) and all those other memorable moments. It's great because we have different people who serve different purposes in our lives, the groups tend to come and go but like all the regular changes we go through as we grow into adulthood, we roll with the punches and get on with life. Thank God for Facebook cause otherwise a lot of us never would have spoken again.

Friends are important, cause as they say, no man is an island. We will always need partners in crime and people to stop us from doing all those stupid things we usually would ("No Jite, jumping off that ledge is not a good idea. I know you can do it and you probably will survive but lets do something else now ok?"). People to inflate our egos and make us feel special when we need it ("Of course she's gay, why else would she ignore you sweet lines like that?"). We also have those friends who do just the opposite, they mooch off us, take our stuff, always need something but yet as we complain to others about them, we still seem to turn up when they can't foot the bar tab you didn't help them build.

That's why they are friends, I always used to say "it's not by force" to have friends but, oh boy does it help. Even though they make fun of us, tell us when we have something in our teeth, ask us how we left the house dressed like that or honestly look us in the eye and say, "dude, are you getting fatter?". As much as these things piss us off, it's only a true friend that will meet you after work and the first thing they say is "you know your fly is undone right" and you had used the bathroom like 4 hours ago and no one in that time had said anything, even during that presentation you just gave, you just have to live and learn.

Growing up I had a tight knit group of friends who would walk around with me in our silly shorts and play Ghost busters, we lived in the same area and even though there where no mobile phones our parents could always find us come dinner time. We grew up and life led us in different directions, we sometimes see or mail but it will never be the same. That friend that 1st told you about girls, the one that taught you how to pull a wheelie, that girl that managed to infiltrate the group and was literally all our 1st crush (mummies and Daddies...lol...those innocent days). They all have new lives now, went to collage, Uni, a random country but even though they may be far away right now, they helped us become who we are now.

The people we grew up to be have surely, at one point or another infiltrated different social groups, spent a time as a grunge skater boy, bought Timberland boots and baggy jeans, been a sports nut with jerseys and constant sports chatter but these are all just a right of passage. I know girls out there that have changed their looks so many times I have to do a double take every time I leave her for more than a month, or those ones that use their hair styles to show case how they are feeling in that precise moment.

Today I have new groups of friends, the ones I served with, the ones I went to uni with, the ones who know my past, the ones I went crazy with and well, the ones who know me now and still call me up every Friday to blow off steam. As we grow, our needs, wants and habits change, so our close friends tend to emulate the things we need now. In my case, I'm not going to label the friends that tolerate me on my blog as that is a sure fire way to lose them, but the cuteness monster, shisha king, scscscscatter, sweet pea, D gurl, Wheelz, 8grls, Alfie, d-lo-brown, inspector Glaucoma, junky goth, delz, linil, the Dr and oh so many more have kept me sane through these past few odd years. They don't know it but I have been through so much that if their sporadic txts, calls and mails hadn't been there, only God knows what I would have done.

So here's to friends *imaginary champagne flute in the air* for those that kept me awake with midnight calls, those that reduced my much needed sleep just to have me around, those that made me drive the length of Lagos just to say hi, those that were there for me and those that weren't. Thank you for allowing me to bitch and moan to you. Thank you for being there even when I didn't want you to be and most importantly, for those reading. Thanks for the support. Even though my dyslexic ass can't spell, and my tendency to ramble, you're still here reading my words.

So enough with the mushy stuff, friends are there, and we just need to get over our personal crap to realize how important the ones we have are, if you can't think of a good one right now. Then I would advise some heavy re-evaluation of your current status. Or hey, you know what?...just look me up.

Why don't you study Engineering?

Growing up, all of us had an inner creative and I know for a fact that I dreamed of being a highly paid advertiser the likes of those in "Mad Men". But in Nigeria at least, most of our parents would hear about these dreams and the speech would start. In my best old school Nigerian dad voice; "Why don't you study Engineering?" and I would usually respond with "But that's not what I want to do" and the diatribe would go on and on about how I want to paint signs on the side of the road for a living and that kind of suffer head is not a good plan (add in a ton my parents heavy sarcasm with added laughter just to drive the point home).

So at the end of the day we are usually reminded who pays the fees and tend to buckle. We go to uni and study engineering, medicine, law or for the lucky or hard headed, mass comm, thinking that after all the fuss that was made; a freshly mown career path is waiting for us on the other side.... Oh how misguided our youths were.

We go through Uni, and depending on the person the reading:playing ratio differs but somehow we eventually come out the other side. Back in our folks day it was Uni, Service (which actually functioned perfectly for some), then straight into a career, but us lucky new age, MTV generation (I think d next batch will b the "blackberry/skinny jeans generation but that's a rant for another day) we came out of Uni at a time when a Bachelors degree was as handy as your Jamb result, so you had two options; Join the mass hunt for jobs with overly skilled, better qualified people all around you and hope you’re hardcore enough, or join the mass exodus for more qualifications.

Those that bailed sharply for their masters slowly found out that masters degrees seem to be like pure water, they come in different types and are very useful but they really are everywhere. And those that didn’t found out the hard way that unless they had an uncle working in a conglomo to let them in or parents to foot the bill for the building of their very own empire, they would literally have to start from the ground up. Personally I have really seen life, from working in a company that made me do all the work promising me the world and then the MD fleeing to another country without paying me 3months salary, to another company that had me designing their template then hiring a cheaper guy to use it. It’s not easy.
But then who ever said it would be, was lying or just in denial. Life goes on and the hard times continue, we find everyday brings with it a new challenge and whether you were a 1st class electrical engineer with a masters in business admin or a 3rd class geodetic engineer from IMSU, the working world is bound to throw you for a loop. There are so many people I know that didn’t play at all in Uni and where as focused as a zombie is on brains but found it hard to find their footing once in the real world. And on the flip side there were some that treated Uni as a 5 year spring break session in Miami and found kick ass jobs right away. So there really isn’t a hard and fast rule although some hard work ethics may help.
All those creative people that ended up as lawyers or doctors never truly lost sight of that inner creativity, many spent time making jewelry or printing shirts and posters in Uni to make that extra buck and after Uni just left it all behind and got on with life. Some stuck with it, leaving their BSc behind and found themselves in media or art inclined businesses, while others just took what they could get. But I think things are changing, people are realizing the potential of doing what you love. A friend recently told me how her father that used to drive her onto the “big boys” career path had a discussion with her the other day about how if she wants to be a clothing designer, he can hook her up with manufacturers in Paris and that if she has a dream then she should go for it.
This conversation was what spurred me on to write this because I have been hearing more of the same thing recently; people’s parents who were sticklers for “Study this and Read that” all of a sudden are realizing that the world really isn’t the same place it used to be. Those days’ doctors were one of the most respected and well paid people around, but now I know more graphic artists that are making it big.
The times are changing and I can imagine in the near future when a child says “I want to be a writer” their Nigerian parents will nurture that need and keep driving the child onwards and even if they change their mind a million time like children do, their parents would be there to guide along life’s crooked and treacherous paths.
Ok, it’s disclaimer time. Don’t get me wrong, I know there are loads of parents out there that nurture their children’s creative talents or even instill some in them but what we have to remember is that we are the future and we will have to make a lot of those tough decisions soon. Most parents that push their children into Law or Engineering are doing because they want what is best for them, but usually the result is children graduating with a BSc in what they didn’t want to do and saying, “Ok so I’ve done what you want, now it’s time to do what I want to do”. It would be a mistake to think that it was a waste of 4 or 5 years in a course they didn’t care much for but they grew up in that time and became who they would be for the rest of their lives, so all in all, something was gained.
Now go on and think about it, what did you want to be and what are you doing now? It’s not meant to be a glass half empty exercise it’s just me trying to let you know it’s never too late. Add aspects of what you like in your job or even in your everyday life, you like creativity, fiddle with power point for the next presentation, design the new company cards, talk to the marketing department about your ideas for a radio jingle, there are loads of ways. With this, you are bound to find more happiness at work and in life and trust me we all need some of that, besides, before you get all complacent or high and mighty, you’re eventually going to be the one with the job of raising a child and then you’ll have to tell your own kids what to do.