Friday, July 23, 2010

Just Living the Life


As a young man trying to make it in Lagos I can tell you, it’s not a walk in the park. Lagos is what I like to call the New York City of Africa (even though I’ve only been to several west African countries) and as such there are a million and one things that get in the way of day to day planning, strategizing and general money making. I could really go on about how our Power Holding Company insist on “holding the power” and the crazy traffic makes moving about even more stressful, but what I’m to talk about is more… how you say basic.

Let’s look at our typical Nigerian business ethic (or lack thereof, in most cases). In most, so called 1st world countries, even the little things like customer service have been taken care of (flash backs of customer service training at Burger King come to mind) so they don’t have frustrated customers who are welcomed with “What do you want?” or scowling staff who are more occupied with their lunch or painting their nails than what brought you through 3 hours of traffic and into their establishments, brandishing your hard earned money. So just at the entrance, most people don’t even bother with the shop, office, restaurant or where ever, they just have to chin up and bear it, or like Jay-Z says “On to the next one”.

So there’s a tip right there, most people remember places they’ve been in Nigeria where the service was above average and trust me, they keep going back. Taking that into consideration is just the 1st step to doing well here, in any line of business that includes the public.

As a budding creative, it’s not easy starting something in a country where the office politics tend to be so stifling, huge conglomo’s like MTN never do overly creative campaigns like their European mates Orange or the American Verizon. It’s not like we don’t have the talent over here, we sure as the grass is wet in a rain storm, do. So why is it that most of the billboards we see are all lacking in creative tact or subtle messages, everything is always “BUY US, WE’RE REALLY GOOD!”. Well from my experience it’s all about the big wigs. If they don’t understand it straight away or their friend in “Random Mc Ad firm” is pitching something else then, nothing for Mr. Intelligent concept guy. So most artists tend to start their own firms or bend to the will of their very own creatively draining company.

Moving on, I do have to say Lagos is kicking ass though, at least we’re not drowning in all the “Ikenna and son’s” over here. So that’s definitely a step in the right direction.

On another note, let’s talk about the social aspect of our fair city, with the rate of flexation over here it’s surprising anyone gets any work done. There’s a launch today, a cocktail party tomorrow, a show the day after and those friends of yours just came into town two days ago, so it’s time to hit all the hot spots and have fun with them while you can. But the question now is, “how in heavens name do you do it all?”

This is where the art of time management comes in; many “players” (yes people are still called that and in this day and age females are just as skilled at it, if not even more so from what I’ve heard) are skilled at it. Seeing four girls in the same state at the same time, but yet never the four shall meet. Seriously, I have a friend who was dating four girls. One was the main girl he’d take to social gatherings with family and friends, one was the babe he’d take clubbing and boat cruising (solo runs), one was strictly a booty call for those late, lonely nights and one was his out of town girl who was always ready to fly in (all bills paid) at the drop of a bbm. With this skill which he had groomed since our secondary school days, he manages a small company, makes and sells shirts and also freelances as a creative consultant.

I’ll be honest with you, I used to give him “holier than thou” speeches all the time about getting to old for all that but If I had learnt this “playerism” earlier my life, everything would be more straight forward, because I find myself trying to do everything at once and please everyone, which in turn leaves me drained all the time. He was forced to learn how to plan ahead and think on his toes, so like when two of the girls are in the same vicinity, he weighs his options and sets himself on a planned route of action (escape is a better word for this scenario). This is perfect for business because it taught him how to act fast and smart. So when his shirt business was being pushed out by the multitude of rivals that sprung from nowhere, he weighed his options and focused on the company he was managing till the competition lost steam and then coolly and calmly set back about his shirt business with less stress in his life, but more money in his pockets.

We could all learn something from him (the positive parts of course, although no hearts were broken in the making of this article) and I do have to say moving to Lagos was a tough move but a smart one, because you can’t learn anything if there is no real pressure and experienced completion around you.

All I know is, with all the hurdles we have to scale on a daily basis, if you haven’t learned to deal with them and (like I used to) whine and moan about them instead of actually stepping up to the plate and knocking it out of the park, then Lagos is not for you. You can live here but you surely will not thrive (unless like a lucky plenty have a well placed uncle or friend).

Like I heard once, “don’t fight the flow, move with it”. I used to hate this city….but now; I’m living the life, Lasgidi style.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Where did my words go?


I was thinking about what to write and I also wanted to make sure it was something us guys can relate to. So here’s what I did, being the techno savvy guy that I am, I quickly went on Twitter and asked my peeps.

At first I thought no one was paying attention and I was Tweeting to blank space, when an old friend told me to analyze why it is that sometimes, no matter how suave or quick witted we are, there is always one girl out there that's like Kryptonite to us, all our lyrics, anecdotes and tried and true chat up lines seem to completely evaporate in their presence.

And you know what? It’s so true. For example, those that know me know I can be a laugh, and also know that I tend to have more close female friends than male. So in theory I should be great when it comes to chatting to the ladies, but if you've been there when a girl I like is even in the same vicinity. It’s ridiculous; I get lost for words and tend to reach for the driest possible jokes. So, yeah, I should know, there is always one lady out there that has our tongues tied up like a 4 year olds shoe laces.

There was this one time that my friends and I were hanging out at our usual haunt in PH and we had been cracking jokes, gisting and generally doing what we do when we're together, and then she walks in. I kid you not, if you could see this girl out of my eyes, the men out there would instantly start drooling and the women would cringe with inadequacy. I’m not going to go into how her lips always glisten with pouty allure and her smile makes you feel like NEPA had taken the light before she walked in and I shouldn’t mention how her body....you know what?....I won’t mention.

So urm… “Sam” (The names have been changed to protect the innocent) walks in and it just so happens I’m the first to see her. I stop mid-sentence and stare for a bit and my friends turn around and beckon her over, (now wait for my stupidity) everyone leans over and says “hi” but me? No, I don’t act like a normal person, I stand up and stretch out my hand like a robot, she shakes it expecting me to say something and whilst all my friends look at me in surprise at the speed my tush left my seat, I say “I need the bathroom” and proceed to run (I walked but my mind was thinking RUN RUN RUN) for the toilet.

Honestly, I don’t know what happened because I have talked to her several times but my mind and body got all muddled up just because “She” was around. Till this day my friends still mimic my “robot shake” and love to tell the tale to anyone we allow in our group.
So why is it that we all get flustered in front of that one person? Even you ladies, I’ve seen the most vivacious babe turn docile kitty cat in front of some hunk and it gets me wondering. “Was that God’s plan?”, “where we suppose to be all cute and innocent or dumb and blundering in front of the people we like?” I mean, I know it doesn’t happen to everyone but I think there must be a good reason.

This is just how things are, we see it every day in movies, when the girl walks past and the guy gazes longingly as he squirts ketchup in his tea. It’s just part of our everyday life and to be honest I personally think it takes self drive (or “Ginger” as I like to say)to learn to get over it. So next time he or she walks in, tell the butterflies in your stomach to calm down and the sweat ducts in your palms to take a chill pill (people still say that right?). Step up to them and act like they are just anyone else.

As usual, advice is easier said than done but what do you have to lose? Anythings better than gawking at them and saying “urrr…Hi, your eye balls look nice”.

With that said, here I am, writing and my aim is to get to the bottom of this through the combined help of all who read this. Why does this happen and though in some cases the loss of words dies down eventually, what else can we do because you know what they say about first impressions meaning everything and me? I don’t want to be face to face with a certain radio presenter and say “Urrrrm...I need to go to the bathroom” and run away...cause frankly, that aint a good look.